Mahabharatam

³aexae ih xm¡ hrit ytIna< Ê>ˆosiÂtm!,
krodho hi dharmaà harati yaténäà duùûasaïcitam|
ttae xmRivhInana< gitiròa n iv*te.
tato dharmavihénänäà gatiriñöä na vidyate||
 
It is anger that deprives the ascetics of the merit that has been accumulated with much effort.
Those thus deprived of their merits do not realise their desired circumstances (in life.)
 
krodho - anger
hi dharmaM - merit
harati - deprives   
yatInaaM - of ascetics
dukhaHsa~nchitam - accumulated with much effort
tato - thus
dharmavihInaanaam - those deprived of their merits
gatih - circumstances
ishtaa - desired
na vidyate - not realise 
(image placeholder) Show quoted text -from the Mahabharatam





The old village house at Tirunelvli wore a festive look. The four sons of Sundrarajan had come home with their families from the different cities where they were employed. 
Sundrarajan was the head of the family. He a man of yester years, a strict patriarch, and had lived his life by the strict rules he had laid out for himself. His wife Parvathi had toiled with him through the trials and tribulations of life without asserting herself. She had indeed done her dharma of a Bhartiya nari of the generation, which went by.  
Sundrarajan started his life from humble beginnings. He was the eldest of the eight children sired by his father Ramaswamy, brought up in an agrarian society of the early 20th century. Though the family had enough to eat and live, there was never enough hard cash for the various other necessities of life. Sundrarajan was first to step out of the house in search of a job, ouside the world of their orthodox village. 
Being the first earning member in the family, on him fell the onus to educate his siblings and marrying off his sisters. Sundrarajan took upon himself the officer’s job under British rule very seriously He was a stickler to time and habits. He was a terror to the entire family. Being their mentor and the elder, his brothers and sisters looked to him in awe and respect. They rarely dared to come and sit in front of him and talk looking up to their elder brother’s face. Sundrarajan did help them to tide over the all-important occasions of life like paying fees for his brother’s higher studies and seeing to the marriage of his sisters. Thus he was always looked upon as a demi-god. Soon Sundrarajan felt himself to be undisputed leader of his folks. He was a stickler to the rules of living and expected his dependents to follow the same.  He did not tolerate even small lapses or indulgences - like when his brother did not return home directly after school finals but chose to go for a movie with friends and returned home  late., It  was treated as a major crime, both for spending money and  indiscipline of coming home late. His young sisters always hid and busied with their needlework when they could hear the footfall of their brother approaching. 
The scene changed when Sundrarajan got married to Parvathi and made his home in the town where his work was. His paternal household heaved a sigh of relief. Then it was only remittances by money order which reminded of them of their obligation to their elder brother. During his occasional visits, the house wore a look suited to his surveillance, with everyone in attendance and obedience till the visit lasted. Soon his brothers grew up and went their ways loosening ties with him. 
Now the onus fell on Parvathi’s young shoulders. Fair and nubile was Parvathi, but she had the strength of steel She had to gather all her resources to lead a life of harmony with her perfectionist husband Sundrarajan. With in ten years of their married life she had given birth to six healthy children as well was toeing her life as per the dictates of her husband who was famous for his quick silver temper.  
The day for her started early at 4.00 am. For a couple of times when piping hot meals were not ready by 9 o clock, when her husband had to leave for office, she had seen him go in a huff with his head held high and brows twisted in anger on her failing to get the meals ready in time. Parvathi would not take such a rebuke. She hence used to get up at 4 0 clock uncaring if her body could not stand such trials, and get the meal ready before 9 0 clock while attending to the needs of her young children. The children always hovered around her, rarely coming out when their father was around. The essential communications with the father was always done through the mother. At 8.00 p.m after Sundrarajan had partoaken the evening meals and sat rocking at the wooden swing hung in the center of the front patio, Parvathi sizing this to be one of the best moods of her husband used to approach him with folded betel leaves and broach the problem of their children which would have been amply rehearsed. It may be that Hari would have broken a window pane in swinging the ball or Janaki their daughter was wanting a dress for a cultural activity in school or that Ramu may be requiring a new pair of slippers. 
Sundrarajan kept a tight rein over money. Every paisa spent used to be recorded clearly and legibly in the account register, the most important and prominent book of the household. Many times Parvathi used to shed silent tears at few Rs at the end of the month not getting tallied. Sundrarajan used to squarely vent his anger, giving her a lecture on being careless, indisciplined and being a loose spender, not knowing the value of money. Many of the requests put forward by the family via Parvathi used to be scrutinized and passed with a heavy hand with many  requests vetoed. 
Sundrarajan did love his children but expected indisputable obedience. Timings for daily activities were strictly adhered to like in a military camp. Morning started for everyone a 5.00 a.m and the night rarely extended beyond 9.00 .m. Their children grew up with high moral and physical discipline but in constant fear of their father, lest they displease him and get his wrath. 
With advancing years Sundrarajan did not mellow. He felt increasingly convinced that the world should run by his convictions and the outpouring of his anger became more vehement with passing years. He was also constantly cross with the world as how it operated. In every transaction, be it a ticket queue, ration shop, buying provision in a shop, the vegetable vendor or the milkman, Sundrarajan’s eyes were quick to see them short changing with measure, quality and rules. Those times his temper used to rise and he used to vent it with sound scolding on the traders at the doorstep. It was them Parvathi who used to use her tact and deal with them when they arrived stealthily at times when Sundrarajan was away from home. 
With the nearing of Sundrarajan’s retirement, his sons one by one, finished their studies and secured good jobs in different places. The jobs fetched them good wives and the wheels of time rolled on with they becoming householders. Fortunately none of them had inherited the anger and temper of their father. After the traumatic childhood under the patriarchal gaze of their unrelenting father, they were eager to make homes away from their paternal home.  
During vacations they came home religiously with their children to be with their ageing parents. 
Times had changed beyond recognition His daughters in law could not fathom the anger and disciplining of their angry father in law. However it was difficult for Sunrarajan to change his ways. His tool of expression was anger which had paid him well in the initial stages of his life when he had a flock to discipline and bring up with  his frugal means. But this anger was a hindrance to the present norms of life. With fewer mouths to feed and no dearth of essentials, men had moved  through a paradigm change. His children and grand children seeked from him warmth, understanding and wisdom grown with years of experience to allay their fears and doubts. 
Sundrarajan had the capacity to give all that, but he did not know how to cross the shield of anger which had become such a tight noose that it was impossible to bring out the  finer noble sentiments welling up within him for his children. 
The intimacy and the connections he yearned for could not be established with his grand children whom in his heart of heart he adored. As time passed and children and grand children were getting distant from him, he realized he has to live and leave the world with this cross, the anger, which once was a boon, but had become the bane of his life. His solace was his wife, the dharmapatni Parvathi who knew the real man behind the sheath of anger.